Dear Mom,
Happy Mothers Day to you. Wow where do I start. How about here, your the most AMAZING mother I have ever seen in my short time here on earth. Every morning you wake up at 5:45 am to read your scriptures, pray and get ready to take me to the hospital for my daily dialysis. The great thing is you are always happy to see me when I wake up, you always put a smile on my face just seeing you.
At dialysis I always hear other mothers complaining about their issues with their kids and themselves. Its funny that your the happiest and most cheerful person in the hospital. I have never heard you say a negative thing about my health problems which always makes me feel good about myself. I am so grateful I get to spend 4 hours every day with just you and me, our together time. Thanks for teaching me so much during our time together at the hospital. No matter what happens to me at the hospital you are always there to make me feel safe and comfort me.
When we get home I love playing with you, Benson, and dad. You are always so happy no matter how long the day has been for us. After dinner I love getting ready for bed so you can read my favorite books, pray, and do sweet dreams. Sometimes I can't wait till the morning so I can spend another day with you. I am so grateful that you are my mom, I don't know what I would do without you. I hope you have the best mothers day ever.
P.S. Thank you mom for saving my life every single day. I really couldn't live without you.
Love Claire
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Home, Health & Faith
It's definitely not a fun thing to have your house on the market. I'm sure any of you who have been there-done that understand. Keeping it clean actually isn't the worst part. It's having to leave every time someone wants to come see it. Of course, it's usually during nap time or dinner time...and they give you a 2 hour window to be in your home for 10 minutes!! Not the ideal set-up if you ask me. On a good note, though, we have had a lot of showings since we've had it listed. 30 plus in a little over 3 weeks. Just gotta keep waiting till that one person comes and falls in love with it! Still waiting. Patiently waiting. Any day now!!
On a not-so-good note, Claire just can't seem to get a break. She now has an infection in BOTH her dialysis catheters--PD and Hemo. NOT GOOD!! I just feel so bad for the little one. Her PD catheter has been infected for about a week now and so far the antibiotics haven't gotten rid of it. The doctors and nurses keep telling us that Pseudomonious (the name of her particular infection) is such a HARD infection to get rid of. She on an IV antibiotic, an oral antibiotic, and topical cream antibiotic applied to the site. If between these three it's not gone by the end of this coming week, she will have to have the catheter removed and have another one placed on the other side of her tummy.
We just found out today (Saturday) that she now has an infection (different from the PD one) in her hemo catheter. ((YES, this is the new catheter she just had placed a few weeks ago that is now infected)) She spiked a fever while on dialysis on Friday (a good indication that an infection is possible) and sure enough the blood cultures proved positive. So she started yet another IV antibiotic on Friday to try to get rid of this particular infection. The IV antibiotics are given through her catheter line and have to be administered after dialysis....meaning an extra hour and a half after her 3 hour regular dialysis. They'll give her hemo infection two weeks from Friday to be treated with antibiotics and if it's not gone by the 22nd, they'll have to pull that line and put another one in...somewhere...I'm afraid she's going to run out of room on that little abdomen of hers! SO NOT FUN. And to top it all off, she got a yeast infection from all the antibocis killing off the good bacteria in her body that usually keep yeast infections away! So changing the diaper now is NOT a fun experience. Poor thing...I just feel like she's getting worked-over in every way possible.
I've been learning a lot about FAITH lately and it must be for a good reason. We've put our faith in God as we've put our home on the market and have complete faith and trust in Him that things will work out according to His will and timing. We're not worried about it. We don't doubt. I now need to apply faith to Claire's infections. I am worried. I don't want to see her have to go through one, maybe two more surgeries and new catheters. Faith must replace my fear. I will have faith and trust that this too will work out according to His will and timing.
On a not-so-good note, Claire just can't seem to get a break. She now has an infection in BOTH her dialysis catheters--PD and Hemo. NOT GOOD!! I just feel so bad for the little one. Her PD catheter has been infected for about a week now and so far the antibiotics haven't gotten rid of it. The doctors and nurses keep telling us that Pseudomonious (the name of her particular infection) is such a HARD infection to get rid of. She on an IV antibiotic, an oral antibiotic, and topical cream antibiotic applied to the site. If between these three it's not gone by the end of this coming week, she will have to have the catheter removed and have another one placed on the other side of her tummy.
We just found out today (Saturday) that she now has an infection (different from the PD one) in her hemo catheter. ((YES, this is the new catheter she just had placed a few weeks ago that is now infected)) She spiked a fever while on dialysis on Friday (a good indication that an infection is possible) and sure enough the blood cultures proved positive. So she started yet another IV antibiotic on Friday to try to get rid of this particular infection. The IV antibiotics are given through her catheter line and have to be administered after dialysis....meaning an extra hour and a half after her 3 hour regular dialysis. They'll give her hemo infection two weeks from Friday to be treated with antibiotics and if it's not gone by the 22nd, they'll have to pull that line and put another one in...somewhere...I'm afraid she's going to run out of room on that little abdomen of hers! SO NOT FUN. And to top it all off, she got a yeast infection from all the antibocis killing off the good bacteria in her body that usually keep yeast infections away! So changing the diaper now is NOT a fun experience. Poor thing...I just feel like she's getting worked-over in every way possible.
I've been learning a lot about FAITH lately and it must be for a good reason. We've put our faith in God as we've put our home on the market and have complete faith and trust in Him that things will work out according to His will and timing. We're not worried about it. We don't doubt. I now need to apply faith to Claire's infections. I am worried. I don't want to see her have to go through one, maybe two more surgeries and new catheters. Faith must replace my fear. I will have faith and trust that this too will work out according to His will and timing.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Benson's prayer
Benson said the prayer in primary today for the first time. He was laying on his bed this morning, practicing by himself while Claire was getting a bath. He wanted to do it all by himself, of course. Here's what he said: "Heavenly Father, thank you for this day. Bless this food. Thankful that we can come to church today. Bless that we can go to church tomorrow. Bless that we can all be healthy. Bless that we can go with our teachers today. Bless....Pres. Monson. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen." Amen.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Just like the day before
Sometimes it's okay for today to be just like yesterday. Not exactly the same. Every day is at least a little bit different with it's own surprises, treats, and challenges...but similar is okay.
When one day is not just like the last, that either means good news or bad. Take the good when it comes. Enjoy the difference. Wish your day was just like the last when it's the bad turn. But learn something, none the less.
Yesterday and today were unfortunately NOT just like the days before.
The very end of Claire's hemo catheter was cracked Monday morning when we took her in for dialysis. Not good. Not usable. Not fixable.
Claire was excited to go home early from the hospital after NO dialysis...but little did she know what would come just a few hours later during surgery.
It wasn't a fun surgery experience. Are they ever? She is way to smart, strong, and intuitive to let anyone fool her. She clung to us like a monkey as the 'people in the blue scrubs' take her vital signs. She knew something was coming and she knew she wasn't going to like it.
For the first time, we got to go with her into the surgery room and watch/help them give her the gas to put her to sleep for the surgery. I don't know if I'll do that again. She was screaming and fighting all of us to get away as the anesthetist held the mask to her face. It was not a fun sight to see your little one struggling and then softly go to sleep. At least she did get to sleep though it. Medicine miracle. They successfully took out the old catheter and placed a new one on the other side of her body.
Waking up for Claire was not a happy thing either. She woke up really fast from the anesthesia and just was not herself as she tried to figure out where she was and what just happened. She was in obvious pain. We got to hold her but she struggled to get out of the room and off to somewhere safe. Inconsolable. She finally settled down after we were able to take her for a walk and get away from the blue scrubs. Then she slept peacefully, safe in daddy's arms.
What a night. Too bad it wasn't just like the night before.
Today she had her dukes up. Very cautious about dialysis and those touching her (for good reason). When Dr. Ford came to look at her catheter she would have nothing to do with it. She cried so hard.....held her breath.....and fainted. She cried. Came back. I cried. She slept the remained of the time on dialysis.
Hopefully tomorrow will be just like LAST wednesday. Happier. Easier. Less Painful.
When one day is not just like the last, that either means good news or bad. Take the good when it comes. Enjoy the difference. Wish your day was just like the last when it's the bad turn. But learn something, none the less.
Yesterday and today were unfortunately NOT just like the days before.
The very end of Claire's hemo catheter was cracked Monday morning when we took her in for dialysis. Not good. Not usable. Not fixable.
Claire was excited to go home early from the hospital after NO dialysis...but little did she know what would come just a few hours later during surgery.
It wasn't a fun surgery experience. Are they ever? She is way to smart, strong, and intuitive to let anyone fool her. She clung to us like a monkey as the 'people in the blue scrubs' take her vital signs. She knew something was coming and she knew she wasn't going to like it.
For the first time, we got to go with her into the surgery room and watch/help them give her the gas to put her to sleep for the surgery. I don't know if I'll do that again. She was screaming and fighting all of us to get away as the anesthetist held the mask to her face. It was not a fun sight to see your little one struggling and then softly go to sleep. At least she did get to sleep though it. Medicine miracle. They successfully took out the old catheter and placed a new one on the other side of her body.
Waking up for Claire was not a happy thing either. She woke up really fast from the anesthesia and just was not herself as she tried to figure out where she was and what just happened. She was in obvious pain. We got to hold her but she struggled to get out of the room and off to somewhere safe. Inconsolable. She finally settled down after we were able to take her for a walk and get away from the blue scrubs. Then she slept peacefully, safe in daddy's arms.
What a night. Too bad it wasn't just like the night before.
Today she had her dukes up. Very cautious about dialysis and those touching her (for good reason). When Dr. Ford came to look at her catheter she would have nothing to do with it. She cried so hard.....held her breath.....and fainted. She cried. Came back. I cried. She slept the remained of the time on dialysis.
Hopefully tomorrow will be just like LAST wednesday. Happier. Easier. Less Painful.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Easter Fun
Easter was great! Grandma and Grandpa Hawks were out for the weekend and we had a great time. Claire LOVES eggs! "Nagg Nagg," she calls them! Benson was so excited for the Easter party at the hospital and for Grandma and Grandpa to come so we could have our own Easter party! Claire had yet another blood transfusion on the 10th that went really well.
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